I don’t think I know anybody who feels comfortable with being sung ‘Happy birthday to you.’ & that dreaded song was even more painfully uncomfortable for me, because prior to my birthday, on April 23rd 2017 exact; my relationship of four years had ended & then a week later I was unemployed. I was marking the end of being a 25-year-old and entering the beginning of being a 26-year-old on what seemed at the time to be the lowest point in my life. However, what I didn’t know at the time was that “Sometimes things must fall apart so that better things can fall together.” I came across this deep quote, on one of those motivational pages I follow on Instagram. Although when I came across this quote, during the depths of my depression, I thought it was a load of bollocks. However, not everything you comes across on the internet is bollocks. Because with time and all that jazz in between, better things did fall together, I’ll get to that part if you choose to read beyond this introduction.
It’s been two years and a bit since my life took what seemed like the biggest U-TURN. & as corny as it may sound, it really was just life’s way of redirecting me towards the right path and away from the shitty path I was on for so long! Having experienced heartbreak and the downfall of my professional life, it was one of the greatest blessings in disguise. Not that I particularly take pleasure in bad things happening to me.....I really don’t! But going through all of that trauma; retaught and continuously teaches me so many lessons, not only regarding my romantic life but my life in general.
Note how I say ‘continuous,’ simply because I’m not here to tell you how everything is magically fixed now because that isn't real life.
Although I can honestly say hand on heart, that at present not only am I a much happier version of myself, I also have a greater sense of peace of mind, and having peace of mind is priceless. I still have my struggles like any Tom, Dick and Harry; the truth of the matter is, challenges and issues never stop coming your way and if you're a person of colour they are doubled. But it’s how we react and deal with them that matters, that counts in the end. When I'm presented with issues, I normally first turn to a KFC and then logically deal with the issues...
I often contemplated writing about my breakup and every other shitty thing that followed in the year of 26-year-old Vanessa. I didn't want to come across has some scorned woman or to be just another blog talking about a 'breakup.' However, I then reminded myself that as long as I know my truth, it didn't matter what people thought. And in my opinion, we aren't really all that different, as much as this millennial world tries to enforce that delusional theory on us. I like to view our similar experiences, in the way we butter our toast. Or how when we visit different restaurants but always end up ordering the same dish off the menu, that familiar dish will always have a different twist on it.
Also pouring my soul into my writing would be a method of self-therapy and maybe it could be a beacon for anyone else out there who is going through a 'shit time.'
Whatever you may gain from taking the time to read my most personal words, I thank you in advance.
& remember whatever challenges you are going through.
‘It never gets worse, it only gets better.’- wise words from my dad that I live by.